All's well that ends well

Ninety-nine days  for  the  encoder , one  day  for  the  decoder. Someone  will  just  be  on her  own  trying  to  make  the  world  a better  place and  gist  will  just  come  and  locate  you  effortlessly.
So I was  minding my  business jejely, throwing out  trash,when I noticed  a folded piece of  paper  around  the  trash can,  I picked  up  the  the  paper  and  opened  it.... involuntarily  I sucked  in  my  breath  and  my  jaw  dropped  to  the  floor.... Literally...
Lo and  behold!!!!  It  was my  neighbor's  flight  itinerary  print -out of  her  "summer  trip  to  Dubai".The  real  bewilderment  was  that her  " summer  trip " wasn't  to  Dubai.

The  real  destination??? Well..... I will  pass  on that  ( I am  too  ashamed  and  embarrassed  on  her  behalf  to  mention  the place) .To  think  she  even  brought  us  souvenirs  from  Dubai o, hmm... Mummy  Dara ..I  bow in Obeisance  .....she  puts  the  letter  "P" to  the  word  Pinocchio. Trust  me  to  make  copies of  the  print-out  (for  future  references  and  compilations ). I think  it's  time  you  met  my   neighbors  ( briefly  at  least),but  this  post  is  really  about  everybody's  happy  endings.

Meet  Mrs  Thomas.... (the  has-been)  her  family  is  currently  facing  some financial down-time. Mrs  Thomas  loves  to hear  own  voice  all  the  time. A great story  teller who  is  quick  to regale you with stories  of  her  voyage around  the  world, her  stories  so colorful  and  plenty  that it  is hard  (very  hard)  to  separate facts  from  fictions.  Her  superiority  complex aura makes  her  stick  out  like  a sore  thumb as  her  pseudo snobbery  stinks high  to  the  heavens. The way   she  shoves  her  pedigree  in  Our   faces ?We had  no  other  option than to suspect  that she  is  a distant cousin to  the  Queen  of  England.

Meet  mummy  Dara (the  wannabe )who  holds a professional  certification in  Eye service. Apart  from being very manipulative,a pathological liar,  and  a chronic  social  climber ...Mummy  Dara  can actually  be  nice. A pleasantly hyperactive  woman  who  constantly  tries too hard to  prove   to  all asundry that  they  have "arrived".
Mummy  Dara  is also  known  as  the  information  minister  of  the  estate as  her  News  dissemination  abilities are   really  commendable.Only you have  to put  sieves  in  your ears  to  separate  truths  and  embellishments.Rumours  and  opinions  are  divided  on  the  true  nature  of  her  husband's  career path , But  really,i wouldn't  even  try  to  go  there today. 
It's  imperative  to  note  that as  different as  Mrs  Thomas  and  mummy  Dara  are ,they  have this special  bond( I guess there  is  unity  in  diversity afterall).
Meet  Mrs Ige(the hermit) well.. Mrs  Ige is what  you  call socially  awkward... Most  of  the  time  she  enjoys  her  own  company and at  other times  she  is   preoccupied  with fine tuning  her driving  skills .During such  times , I always  sympathize  with  the  gateman and the  gate  as she  keeps  bashing  them. She has had  her  own  fair  share  of  trails and  travail with hydroquinone, steroids and  probably Mercury as its  quite   evident  on  her skin.   However  forget  judging  a book  by  its  cover.... Mrs  Ige  actually  has a  finer  soul.

And now  to  everybody's  happy  endings ,in no particular  order  of  ascending  or descending relevance ,read and  be simply  inspired  or  jealous.

So Mrs  Ige got  her  big break ,completed  her  driving lessons  and  she   can  drive  well now(big relief for  the gateman  and the  gate).She also stopped bleaching now her transparent skin somewhat  have started looking opaque .Hopefully in their nearest future she will get her melanin back.

Mrs  Thomas got her own happy ending when she was given a visa to the USA .All her woes ended and she will be living happily thereafter in the Bronx.Most importantly now ,she has become a sage in immigration matter/diplomatic affiliations.

Well.....the biggest unveil would be Mummy Dara.she will be relocating to   the " Island "in a month's time.According to  her she got really tired of our  estate  poor  amentites and  it's  occupants'  primitive  way of thinking ,hence the need to upgrade,although I suspect something fishy about the whole "exodus "let's just use our church mind to say they hammered big time.Not quite sure if she is renting or buying.....(how could I forget to ask). Meanwhile haters  have  tried  to  affirm  that their  new  island  location  will be  somewhere  between   Lakowe  and  Epe ,it is however  difficult  to  verify  the  actual location,  as  she  refused  to  give  us  her  new  address.  
Well....iyale  ookan 's happy ending?well dat one is still being written,trusting God to write that final paragraph but for the sake of this gist;.let's just say she got her dream job , she became a career diplomat with Nigeria Embassy in France .She shopped till she dropped in Paris,did tummy and arm liposuction ,vacationed in  South  of  France and  those  exotic  places.
Not forgetting she got a nanny and housekeeper to take care of her plenty children.
Hey ! our dreams are valid guys we just have to dream on.......be inspired.


Photo credit:Google images 


Comments

Omololu famro said…
Loooooool.cant stop laffing.am happiest for iyale oonkan may her dreams come true with speed of light!!! Amen!
Unknown said…
These are very close to real life narratives, not far from actual antics that people play!
Anonymous said…
😁😁😁😁....interesting read.
Anonymous said…
Just came across this blog and I'm hooked already.... I love ur narratives
Unknown said…
Hahahahaha....the way i was relishing the thought of finding that paper...nothing compares to that feeiing of bursting someone while the person is still thinks no one has an idea...
Unknown said…
Hahahahaha....the way i was relishing the thought of finding that paper...nothing compares to that feeiing of bursting someone while the person is still thinks no one has an idea...
Phlosh said…
No description of iyaleokan antics too. Oya spill it at least we know your and just keep it in focus it will happen. A
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