AFOJUDI (EFFRONTERY)

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"Odo  ti  a baa  foju di  ni  gbe  ni  lo"..Simply put, Afojudi  is  when  you  are  in a canoe  in the  middle  of  the  sea  and  you  are singing  mami  water power ...powerless  power.

As  a Yoruba girl  of  Ekiti  descent or  is  it extraction..... I thought  I had tamed  and  conquered  the  venom  and  sting  of  Chilli;  name  it  Atarado, Ataijose,Ata gigun, Ata  shombo  and  even  Cameroun  pepper.
The romance  between  Ekiti  people  and  pepper  have  dated  back  time  immemorial...my  ancestors were  called  the  Atarodo  bender, The Ata-ijose  slayer,they were  the  original /undisputed  pepperdem  gang.  

For me,  my  obsession  with  all  things  hot  and  spicy  knows  no bounds. I must  add pepper (hot  one o)   to my  fried  rice, puff  puff, Sharwama, my chicken and  fries  sauce  must  be  really  spicy. Even  for  salad ;Well.... I use pepper  mayonnaise  as  cream. Life  continued... Everybody  was happy. Life  was  spicy, there  was love, peace  and  sunshine  in  the  world. Until  I pushed my  luck  quite  far....

So I went  to  a pizza  shop   to  buy  pizza  and  instead  of buying  the  usual  barbeque  chicken  pizza  jeje, I would  never  ever  understand  till  I cross  the  narrow  bridge the  demon  that  pushed me  to go  for  the  spicy option maybe.....just  maybe  I wanted  to  impress the lady with  the  oyinbo  accent  that  attended  to  me as she  listed  the  ingredients  in  the  spicy  chicken  pizza. The  only  thing  I could  make  out  was  scotch  bonnet (and  in  my  mind  I was  like  "iyen  na  daa").
When  my  orders came  I took  a slice  out  and  wolfed  it  down  in  almost  a gulp.

THEN!!!!   It HIT me !!...that  very  moment that  the  motor  neurons  delivered  the  message  to  my  brain !!! Then  I heard  a loud  explosion  at  first  I thought  a transformer  exploded nearby.... It  took  me  approximately 3seconds  to  realise  it  was  the  transformer  in  my  head  that  exploded...... Yeeii!!! Mogbe!! Moku!! Ibosi  oo!!!!

Then  alas! Everything  stood  still..  Instantly I had  a out- of-  body  experience and  all  my  makeups, baffs  and  wristwatches  flashed  before  my  eyes.
 When  I regained  consciousness, my  eyes gorged  out, I felt an  inferno surge  through  my  tongue, Osephagus and  brain  ,the  blinding white  fire  that raged  through my  body almost  led  to  a convulsion...... Before  I knew  it  I flew  to  the  counter(i can't  remember walking)  to  get  the  biggest  bottle  of  water  they  had. About  5mins normalcy  returned to  my  brain.... Somehow  I managed  to  drive  myself  home .

Shout  out  to  the  culinary  staff at that  pizza  place in Ogba. We  acknowledge  the  good work  you  have  started  in  our lives,the  out-of - body experience you have  provided  ...May  the  Lord  continue  to  give  una the  strength  to bring  it  to  logical  conclusion....

Comments

Phlosh said…
Hehehwheheeeehhheeeeheeeee. More heeeeheegehehehegr
15 October 2017 at 08:53
Christnkids said…
i Kent laugh o .........great piece
15 October 2017 at 14:40
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